documents


Top Secret Playoff Scouting Reports

Many of you may not know this, but there is a top-secret scouting organization whose membership is comprised of retired Israeli Special Forces operatives and ninjas. This secret organization is highly skilled at assessing the psychological shortcomings of hockey players, as well as their on-the-ice deficiencies. We’ve learned that there are a couple teams in…


Top Secret Document: Brian Burke’s Year-End State Of The Union Address To Maple Leafs Nation

With the regular season near its end, the NHL community is on pins and needles eagerly awaiting the start of the playoffs Brian Burke’s state of the union address to Leafs Nation. This annual press conference has already surpassed Easter as the most anticipated April tradition in Toronto and we can only imagine it will…


From The Desk Of Gary B. Bettman…

To: Dan Gilbert Cleveland Cavaliers Cleveland, OH Dearest Dan Gilbert, I am writing this letter to offer you my fullest support in light of what has transpired the past week. If you are unfamiliar with me, I am commissioner of the National Hockey League. You may have heard about our organization before. After reading your…