If You Write It, They Will Comment… And Laughs Will Be Had By All

Posted on May 21, 2015 By

In this series, Blades of Funny scours the internet and finds memorable comments left under hockey-related stories. You may laugh, you may cry, you may block this site on your browser so you never have to read this drivel again, but one thing is certain: you will not become any smarter by reading this post.

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The Article: The Vancouver Canucks are playing one of those so-called “meaningless” games on Saturday, wrapping up the NHL regular season with a home contest against the Calgary Flames.

The Comment by Sheriff Woody: Ask the Leafs for some pointers…82 meaningless games this year….

BoF: ZING!

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The Article: Ladies and gentleman, let’s hear it for country-western recording artist Theoren Fleury. For the past few months, the former NHL star has been honing his vocal chords at Calgary-based studio Pyramid Productions.

The Comment by edhull: Is he drunk?

BoF: Nope, just broke.

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The Article: Six players from Slovenia’s league champion, Acroni Jesenice, have been booted from the team after beating up their head coach in drunken post-game celebration. The six then turned on the coach, reportedly beating him with wooden traffic signs that they found by the side of the road.

The Comment by President Camacho: The coach tried yelling “Stop!”, but the team just assumed he wanted them to beat him with a specific sign.

BoF: ZING!

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The Article: Iginla has made it clear he wants to be part of the solution. But public debate still rages over whether Thursday’s tilt was the final act at home for the face of the franchise.

The Comment by Anonymous: Iggy goes I go. and I am a hard core flames fan. dont let it come down to that

BoF: Darryl, is that you? Yeah, I bet it’s you.

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The Article: TWO WEEKS AGO, they [Flyers] were the team everybody wanted to play in the playoffs. The feeling is slightly different now. They have won two games in a row entering their critical final weekend, with two games against the Rangers, and have played a more inspired brand of hockey over their last five. “Now if we play this way,” Danny Briere was saying after practice yesterday, “I don’t think a lot of teams want to play us. We’ve said it all along. We’re built as a playoff team. We’re warriors.”

The Comment by noslok: Ha ha ha! “I don’t think a lot of teams want to play us.”? Are you kidding? Well, here’s an engraved invitation from Washington: Please, oh please, can we PLEASE play the Flyers in the first round? ROTFL!!!

BoF: You hear that, Briere? It’s not just an invitation, but an ENGRAVED invitation. Those take time and effort to create.

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The Article: Sami Salo showed up Friday for the Vancouver Canucks team photo, and left on the injury list. It sounds like a cruel joke. Instead, it’s a cruel reality for the Canucks.

The Comment by anonymous: The Vancouver Canucks are like a disappointing wife that keeps on forgetting your birthday every year!

BoF: //double take… What? I’m thinking this poor guy needs to sit his wife down and talk it out, instead of getting his feelings out by leaving random metaphors on the internet.

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The Article: A list of the 2009-10 Masterton nominees

The Comment by Jasper the Black Lab: What does Chris Drury persevere through? Can’t he hire a lackey to carry his obscenely large paycheques?

BoF: Nope, the lackey is currently on an exclusive contract working for Wade Redden.

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This concludes the festivities for this post. Please take the time to follow Blades of Funny on twitter. If you do not, then the next time you hail a cab, Patrick Kane will rush up and ask if you want to split the fare with him. It’s your call, my friend.

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