The Conference Finals: Where The Money Is Made

Posted on June 6, 2015 By

Blades of Funny went 2-2 in the 2nd round, and all it took to achieve this averageness was a comeback for the ages. Overall playoff record now stands at 6-6. Average to the core, baby!

For the Conference Finals, I’ve decided to switch things up. Instead of looking forward and coming up with wacky storylines, I’m going to do what the pros do: compare the teams.

Montreal vs. Philadelphia

Montreal… deploys a gameplan which revolves in getting badly outplayed and then pulling out a miraculous victory.
Philadelphia… has also caught on to this style.

Montreal… players have been known to interact with distasteful individuals off the ice.
Philadelphia… players have been known to interact with distasteful individuals on the ice.

Montreal… has faced four goalies thus far in the playoffs.
Philadelphia… are fully expecting to dress four goalies going forward.

Montreal… fans have a reputation of losing their minds during playoff time.
Philadelphia… fans have a reputation of losing their minds all year round.

Montreal… has a guy in goal who’s been compared to Ken Dryden and Patrick Roy.
Philadelphia… has Michael Leighton. <—— HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The Verdict: Montreal in 6.

The official sponsor was Kestrel, the popular manufacturer of Road bikes.

Chicago vs. San Jose

San Jose… has a guy they call Jumbo who rarely shows up in the postseason.
Chicago… has a jumbo guy who rarely shows up. Period.

San Jose… led by Joe Pavelski, have torn apart the opposition in these playoffs.
Chicago… has also left their opposition torn apart, just ask Sami Salo.

San Jose… has a star sniper whose desire for change last summer made him act like a jackass.
Chicago… has a star sniper whose desire for change last summer also made him act like a jackass.

San Jose… defeated the Red Wings in the second round.
Chicago… also defeated a whiny team/fan base in the second round.

San Jose… does not have Marian Hossa.
Chicago… has Marian Hossa, which means it’s allllllll good, baby baby…this round, anyway.

The Verdict: Chicago is 6.

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